How to (Perhaps) Mend a Broken Heart

After a breakup, you don’t need Halloween or scary movies to feel like you arrived in the middle of a nightmare. So what to do when your life is like a rollercoaster that seems to go down only? Let me share my 10 step plan that might help, maybe not right now, but in a future (hopefully) not too far away. Good luck and keep going!

Cry, baby cry, as much as you like

When I was younger, my mum always told me to not cry, cause I’d get wrinkles from it. I say it’s nonsense and who cares! Emotions need to be expressed, face cream can solve the skin afterwards. So let it all out: Cry into your pillow in the dark of the night or on the bus at rush hour. Very important, don’t worry about what others might think about you. It’s great that you are a human being capable of feeling deep emotions. One day you will cry tears of joy again.

Go out like you’re the happiest girl in the world

Yes, you do feel like staying at home, not brushing your hair and crying all day long. It’s ok to wallow in hurt and self-pity, but as well very important to connect with the world and the people among you. Do all the things that you used to love and like, even if it’s hard. If somebody asks you out, never say no and fill the gap that he left behind in your life. One day your smile will come back without being forced and you will enjoy yourself again. Don’t give up, fight for every happy second!

Give in to your guilty food pleasures without feeling guilty

Playing Bridget Jones and eating a big, big bucket of ice cream? Hell yes, if it makes you feel just a hint like you’re a movie star! Since you are terribly sad you might not eat properly anyway and some calories are just what your body and soul needs. You will laugh about your ice cream nights once you feel better. Otherwise, don’t worry: At least you had that delicious chunky chocolate ice and your excuse was good…

Work it out, work it out

You can cry, but you can sweat as well! If you do sports your body is producing happiness hormones and this is exactly what you desperately need! So no matter how hard it might be, get your body to the gym, run, swim or kick-box. Nice side effect: It’s work on your revenge body! The better you look, the better you will feel and whoever left you behind, missed their chance to touch your new firm butt.

Lose yourself in art

There is nothing that has an impact on the soul as art! Visiting a museum – or even better: being part of an installation – feels like a bath in a different world and feeds your mind with colours, ideas and visions. Some art pieces cheer you up like a Jeff Koon’s sculpture, others make your problems appear small and harmless. Thank god you’re just absolutely miserable, but not in Dante’s Inferno… There are plenty of galleries and museums out there, what are you waiting for?

Dress up like nothing bad ever happened

Wear what makes you feel super self-confident and beautiful, just like the glamourous diva you are in your heart. Feeling bad doesn’t mean you have to look bad too. So say no to the potato bag dress that drags you down even more and wear the crazy party clothes. You might get covered in compliments, what an ointment for your broken heart!

If you can’t be happy, try to make others happy

Instead of keeping your mind occupied with thinking about your own misery, gather people around you and make new friends. Support each other and help each other, you are all not alone if you join forces. Listen to their worries and share yours, hug each other, cry together and tell each other how great you are. You will experience that shared pain is less pain. If you even want to do more, apply for some social work or offer your services to a charity. All of this helps to make you forget about yourself for a moment and turns your misery into something useful.

Clean, Tidy up, Rearrange

Taking care of your home, making it clean and tidy helps you to order your mind as well. If your whole home reminds you of things that hurt you, rearrange things or change your habits: Sit on the chair you never used, buy yourself flowers instead of pitting yourself that you don’t get some and get rid of things you never really liked anyway. You are not in control of everything in your life, but you are in control of giving yourself a safe place that is beautiful!

Invent new Rituals

It might be very strange to sleep alone or prepare dinner for one, honestly: I hate it. What helps a little bit is to invent new rituals, like having a cup of lavender tea before you go to bed, listening to music for a while before you sleep or read at least a chapter of a book before you close your eyes. It doesn’t sound like much, I know, but the structure in your life will do you good.

Afraid of the future? Fill it with good things!

If the future frightens you, one strategy is to not think too much ahead and live day after day. But I think what helps even better is to create events for yourself that you can look forward or at least take away the fear of being lonely. I am extremely anxious about events like my birthday and Chrismas (both coming up hooray), my strategy is to organize my own gifts and invite friends.

My Outfit
Skirt: Happy Onion, Jacket: Vintage Moschino from Love at the Bus Stop,
T-Shirt: Vintage Dior from Sassy World, Handbag: Lipault, Shoes: YRU,
Scarf: Fleamarket, Glasses: Sorayrayaxo, Beret: Vintage, Earrings: Shh by Sadie

Pictures: Marco Borromeo
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