Individuality, oh what a sweet illusion! We all dream and forget that what we define as individualism is far less about ourselves than a relationship between ourselves and the world. 

Sometimes I find it bizarre how much effort we spend on making ourselves stand out, being different from the rest. Aren’t we in the end just as extraordinary as a tree or a cloud, and isn’t everybody of us the same amount of individual? Why is it so important to be seen as individuals separate from one another in our society? Individualism fills us with passion and importance and is a vital energy that drives us, but why?

I grew up in a very rural village. Since I was little, I was told that I was different. So what happened? I started to go further and further in living my life in a way unlike the people of the village. I talked in different words, had my hair cut and dyed in a way they wouldn’t, took a profession that didn’t exist in their world.

This is what I mean with individuality being a relationship between the self and the others. I made myself the way that I am as much as the world made me, especially the people who were around me from the start of my story. I got told that I was different from them, so I gave my best to become different.

But still: Even if there might nobody be in my city with pink hair, my mix of art and fashion and cultural influences, that doesn’t mean that I am the only one. If you’d browse the world, you’d find quite a few doppelgängers, I bet. Do I care? No! The opposite: I’d love to meet them and hug all the copies of this model in pink and encourage them to continue on their attempt to reach the goal of individualism, even if it doesn’t exist.

Jacket: Uterqüe, Cardigan: House of Sunny, Trousers: Vintage,
Bag: Moschino, Shoes: Melissa, Tight: Fogal, Earrings: Tukadu

Pictures: Tanja Gschwandl

Red, is the Surface of Mars,
just like my gown

Foreign is my anatomy,
no human heart sits in my chest

Stolen is what was beating,
so I chose to live with a plastic heart

The beating lump of flesh was sold for a cheap currency
Strange earthlings don’t believe in true worth
Egos are bigger than long shadows when the sun is low
Blood dripped to the floor and coloured my skin

On Mars, love is air, love is fire, water, and life
People on earth run after things but lost their true meaning
Love comes cheaply here as a fake and words as horrendous noise
I cried aloud in the dark and was not heard

Planets share the same language but an entirely different meaning
Eath talk is stripped and robbed of promises
On Mars meaning is pearls, here words are just empty shells
My eyes turned to ice and my soul got lost in the freezing snow

Fellow aliens. before you board your spaceships full of hope, be warned
this planet, as green and peaceful it looks, as cruel it is
Leave your heart at home and keep it safe
plastic will keep you alive it’s the only currency known

My outfit:
Dress: Amorphose, Headdress: Fumbalinas, Bangle: Versace Vintage

Pictures: Philipp Mueller

Welcome to a New Year, a new chapter! Does everything continue like before or do you feel the change tingling on your skin? I certainly do and I think this might inspire you too, so meet the new me! She is strong and refuses to be played with.

2021 was challenging, I hit the ground in every aspect of my life and learned a lot about my limits. But as well about my abilities: Hard lessons taught me that I am capable of much more than I thought, forced me to grow, to open my mind, and increase my creativity.

I went through a rigorous cleansing of my inner garden: Destroyed beliefs that were rooted there that I no longer share, got rid of a lot of toxic things in and around me, put up my walls tighter against harming behavior, and learned to trust myself and my net more than ever. I discovered that I do have a family. People I can trust and who would go to Mars for me just like I would for them. Without sharing blood, but out of the pure free will.

Most of all, I came to peace with my independence. I realized that I don’t need saving because I am in charge and capable of finding solutions for every problem that appears on the horizon. I learned to embrace that I am not a conventional woman and that this is ok – no: an exciting gift. Just because some people would call me insulting names doesn’t mean that I am wrong. I don’t live that arranged life of theirs, but I do live mine and I do that to the hilt. It’s a life bursting with impressions, inspirations, and experience. No same-same day after day!

There is insecurity, but as well so much laughter, fun, excitement, tears, drama, closeness, and most of all: Love. I don’t know if things will stay what they are, but who does? And I decided that I am not a pinball. 2022 will be the year of no games, we play with creativity here, but not with feelings, honesty, and our souls! I might look like a doll, but if you want to be a part of my universe, you have to be respectful, loving, and caring. Everything else is not welcome here anymore. So let’s start!

My outfit:
Top: Dolls Kill, Trousers: Essentiel Antwerp, Belt: Jessica Butrich, Shoes: Underground,
Bag: Jolie Laide, Sunglasses: Pearls & Swine, Bangle: Versace Vintage, Earrings: Tukadu

Pictures: Sarah M.J. Photography

Are we driven by money, fame, the search for beauty or love? I say those are all passengers, while the driver is the Why. Constantly we seek to know the Why in everything we do. 

Studies say that 4-year olds ask about 200 to 300 questions a day, a lot of them starting with Why. Even if we lose this excessiveness of questioning while growing up, we still need the Why. It is the purpose, the drive and the changemaker of everything for us meaning-seeking creatures. Are you lifting a finger without a Why behind? No way! 

Why is the bus late? Why is the sky dark at night? Why did you break my heart? Why am I who I am? Almost everything that happens in our life and thoughts comes with a pile of Whys. Whole books could be filled with questions starting with a Why. The Why is about exploring and discovering the meaning and purpose of things, and asking Why is a sign of curiosity, a symbol of not just taking things for granted. The wish to come to the ground of a deeper understanding.

The answers to those Whys determine our reactions and emotions, making the Why even more meaningful. Let me give you simple examples: A late bus might stir feelings of annoyance, but knowing that there was a terrible accident changes the emotions to consternation instantly. A cheating lover revealed he was at the hospital unconscious causes a different reaction than one who answers that he just felt attracted to somebody else. So the world often changes its turn just a tad when somebody’s lips spell a tiny little W-H-Y.

Acceptance is probably closer connected to understanding the Why than to Likeability. What we know we can easier accept, the Why brings the context. It reveals the considered angles that were the base for a decision. So open your lips and wisper Why, whenever you don’t understand, want to know more or feel tingling curiosity creeping up your spine.

Pictures: Marco Borromeo

Dear Future Self, I imagine you are living a high-tech life reading this, but listen: I have a few things to tell you, so be all ears!

I bet if you look at my pictures, wishing you had my youth, my energy and you start to think how glorious the times with me were. True, but please don’t forget how challenging it was too. Don’t fall into the trap and glorify the past. The most important is always the now, absorb it and dive into it! It was my responsibility to live the past and I did to the last second. So no regrets, I took care of partying, of hugging everybody you love, wearing all the glitter, staying up long and spending all your money (oops). Focus on the good news: I took a lot of pictures to make it easier for you to remember everything.

Future Self, I hope you thank me for carrying you through so much. Whatever you have and wherever you are: It’s because of me. Because of the decisions I made, the opportunities I saw, and the visions I had. I hope you are happy and that all my tears and all my sweat were helpful to bring you to a good place. You matter to me and I’ll never give up on you. Your body and soul carries the marks and wounds of my mistakes and victories as well as the wrinkles caused by worrying and a lot of smiling.

Please be proud of the signs of time and don’t forget that I fought hard and pushed myself a lot to become you. I don’t know you yet, but I want you to be fabulous. You owe me that. Despite a lot of sad things and challenging situations, I managed to stay colourful and inspiring, I had the goal in my mind that you could forget about the pain and keep the glitter. Enjoy it, please!

I don’t feel like I need to give you a lot of advice, since you carry everything I know within you. If you are like me you care about people you love, eat healthily and exercise. I can’t imagine you gave up my discipline, my will to shine and my stubbornness to be bent, because those things lie at the roots of who we are.

Just one more thing for now: I would like you to remember where we come from. Not to go back there, but to see how far we came. Be proud and know that your journey was long and unique. And oh my: I wish you could show me the fancy technology you have over there…

My outfit:
Trousers & Vest: Coster Copenhagen via custommade.ch, Top: Heroine Sport via Sportles, Sunglasses: Balenciaga, Shoes: YRU, Bracelet: Absynt

Pictures: Marcel Steiner