Two weeks ago was my birthday and I was terrified: All the beautiful plans I had for this day had disappeared and I wished the day would be crossed out of the calendar. It was my first birthday in a long time without me being in a relationship or having a date and I was afraid of this day turning into a sad and lonely occasion.
Sometimes, life changes faster than you can blink, consistency turns into chaos, what seemed to be granted is suddenly uncertain. Plans and promises burst like bubbles and it feels like what the world meant to you was just a wonderful distant dream. Being in a situation like this, I saw no reason to celebrate my birthday. What for? I’ve always been a person who loved to care for people in the family and in relationships, I defined myself a lot through this and therefore being alone tends to make me feel less myself. Do I have to celebrate myself if there is nobody? Isn’t that weird and pitiful and why is there nobody singing happy birthday for me? Don’t I deserve that?
I considered to just sleep the whole day and hopefully not wake up till it would be over. But a part of me never really gave in and arranged to see friends the whole week, dressed up and had a rebellious thought: Yes, this year you might not have a ten-course dinner in a fancy restaurant, nobody will surprise you with a sea of flowers, you will not receive pretty wrapped Gucci boxes or get hijacked to Disney Land. But guess what: It’s gonna be fine, you are so lucky and have the best friends in the world and you have yourself and all the things you reached all on your own. You are your own gift, nobody else’s! Saying so, I put on a bow, just for myself.
You are your own gift, nobody else’s!
Saying so, I put on a bow, just for myself.
Dressed in clothes I love and putting my chin up I faced the world, bringing together friends who didn’t know each other. I received a self-made vegan lemon cake, we played funny games, had Indonesian food and most of all: We enjoyed each other’s company, laughed and had fun. A warm feeling that made me feel so lucky filled my mind. Yes, I am single. Yes, nobody is madly in love with me, but that doesn’t make me worthless and I have a lot of love in my life from my friends. I feel very grateful for those wonderful and genuine people around me who care and are not scared of going out with a girl who might burst out into tears every now and then. What else do I want for my birthday?
Ok, maybe there was something little on top: So I went home with a smile on my face and bought myself a Moschino bag (sorry Gucci but this year you didn’t win). Because it’s important to treat yourself and I am worth that!
My Outfit
Shirt: Zara, Skirt: Devoi, Earrings: Swarovski, Belt: Moschino x H&M, Shoes: H&M,
Sunglasses: Gucci, Snake Ring: Animazul, Bracelet: Vintage, Headband: Zara, Handbag: Lulu Guinness
Nails: Diva Nail Studio
Pictures: Marco Borromeo
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