Wasting Time

You’re wasting your time, is an often-used expression. People tell me that isolation feels like a waste of time, or a lot of sleep and many other things. Everything is supposed to be efficient and there are piles of books that teach us how to improve our use of time and make the maximum out of it. But is it really a desirable goal or might what feels like waste maybe not be as bad as its reputation?

We might find ourselves in a situation where we can’t provide what we and society expect from us right at the moment we think it should be there. In this case, we are left with two options: Either we can get stressed and feel unhappy, or we just grant ourselves the luxury of takine our time. Admitting that we are not ready for certain things, but it’s ok to take time and it’s what we can do realistically instead of pushing ourselves.

If you reach this point, taking your time suddenly doesn’t feel like a waste but like a gift from you to yourself. This is something I only came to realise in the recent months. I grew up having big dreams in my head, I was (and still am) ambitious, disciplined and used to work a lot. Those are all great abilities and I don’t want to say that you should all become lazy. But I plead for balance, for not being too hard with yourself, for not pushing yourself when you might need time to heal, to rest or to just do nothing.

If you would have asked me where I’d be today ten years ago, I might have said something different then where I am. There are so many things society expect: A girl should be in a relationship in her mid-twenties, get married before 30, have her first kid before 35 and plant a tree and buy a house. Stereotypes life doesn’t play along with sometimes. Some of them you or me consciously reject, others just don’t happen.

How on earth to get married before 25 if you only meet frogs? How to plant a tree if you don’t have roots? Maybe your life is a different story than the standard life and maybe your moment to plant a tree or change plans and go for a palm instead is at a different time? Just breathe and stay calm.

In the last few months, a lot of people told me that I am wasting time being sad and believing in the impossible while I was very brokenhearted. Yes, I sometimes was afraid of that too, but at one point I started to refuse expectations: Because this is my story, this is my life and if I need time, it’s no waste, it’s where I am. If I force myself into something I am not ready for it will not make me happy anyway.

And by the way: Yes, it’s perfectly fine to post pictures with a faux fur coat when the weather is already getting warmer, I had about a million of things keeping me from doing it earlier. Maybe I was just busy taking my time…

My Outfit
Coat: A gift from a friend, Top: House of Holland, Trousers: Calzedonia, Shoes: Underground,
Sunglasses: Le Specs, Handbag: Essentiel Antwerp, Earrings: Saisall, Gloves: Bought in London,
Ring: Swarovski

Pictures: Marco Borromeo
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