Finding the person to spend your life with can be easy or almost impossible, and we can’t choose. Some of us meet the love of life at school and stay together forever. Others have to date a whole village until Amor shows sympathy, and some give up on love. It’s an adventure. So let me tell you a few things about adult love I’ve learned.
I was not lucky enough to make my school love last, and I always refused to date the whole village. Tinder and similar apps always seemed a nightmare since how can you feel the chemistry in a picture? Finding somebody in the real world seemed like a hopeless task: Where do you even start to look? Shall you hang around the supermarket for days, move into a museum or ask all your friends to introduce you to their friends and create something like a snowball system? On top, there is this widely spread belief that when you are determined to fall in love, the possibility that it happens is almost zero. Amor likes mischief, apparently: He plays hide and seek and strikes when your mind and eyes are elsewhere.
Therefore my strategy was to be creative, go out and keep to myself without looking for something. I felt like I was not particularly eager to settle for somebody who didn’t blow me away and turn my world upside down. And I am not that easy to impress, I tell you.
But the miracle happened, and somebody managed the almost impossible: Love! Oh, wait, with the clapping: Even in my newborn euphoria, I discovered that a happy end is not the first kiss but just the beginning of the story. Adult love level two begins.
As a teenager, it was so easy: Oh, I love his eyes, I want to hold his hand, ok, this is great. Do you remember? It’s nothing like that for adults. Everybody (including me) seems to have a massive list of requirements and no-gos in their head. The life structure has been settled for years, and a potential love has to cope with it. As teenagers, we just lived, and nobody knew about life anyway. The beginning of adult love is not the smooth process it was as a teenager. I must have forgotten that for a while, and maybe some of you too. There are a thousand things you have to cope with initially, and it’s far more complex than it used to be. Everybody brings their traumas, broken marriages, children from past lovers, habits that are rusty and packed schedules.
Sometimes there is a lot of frustration: I experienced moments with two people in a room who desperately tried to love each other and ended up in a bitter war with heavy weapons. Yes, me too, so guilty. The temptation to give up sneaks in. That ugly voice whispers in your head when the lights are out. Maybe this is not enough. Perhaps we are too different. Perhaps we can’t talk.
But another thing I learned: It’s worth not giving up, worth still believing in love and embracing the new world a new person brings into your life. Oh my, the surprise might be so sweet, and you might be baffled by how good it can feel to make it. Let’s try to be brave, patient, open-minded and spread love.
My outfit:
Blouse: Coster Copenhagen via Custommade Modeagentur, Leggings: Vintage,
Shoes: Alexander McQueen Vintage, Earrings: Tukadu,
Swimsuit: Calzedonia, Handbag: Jolie Laide
The Minuki Plush is designed by Taina and can be bought at Unuh
Pictures: Daniela Bologna
Produced with the help of Greta Schoop
