Once upon a time, a girl went out into the world to spread colour. She started with a small spot and watched it grow. While she was radiating pink and yellow and turquoise, she was hiding dark spots inside.

Everybody thought she was brave and happy, but inside her heart, she had harboured dark spots since she was a kid. She had the ability to see the bright in the dark, which was her talent and her curse as well. It made her fly; it made her fall. She was often hurt for running after a bright spot and ending up being eaten up by darkness. But no matter where and how she was, she made people happy even when she was sad. If she could just overcome the difficulties to cheer herself up…

All her efforts to make her inside as bright as her outside didn’t work. She struggled. But then something extraordinary happened: She found somebody who challenged her yet gave her the feeling of freedom she never knew. She stopped to care about a lot of things and just lived.

She laughed while her hair was messy and gave up caring about her own imperfections. Her focus switched from the outside to the inside.

All of this happened because she was shown to be enough, just like she was. She didn’t need to be art all the time. It was fine just to be the tiny little self when all the spotlights turned off, and vulnerability appeared. It was fine not to be perfect, not to be beautiful, not to be especially charming.

Thank you, whoever showed that girl what she couldn’t have found alone. A kind mirror to look at herself.

My outfit:
All Clothes by Maya Seyferth, Earrings: House of Holland,
Sunglasses: Tatty Devine
Hat: Maison Julie

Pictures: Parinya Wongwannawat / Nick Soland
Animation: Chantal Caduff
Location: Wow Museum Zurich

Regarding pictures, I strive for perfection and take care of every detail. It takes a lot of effort to create a perfect image, but still, it’s nothing compared to the energy required to become a better version of yourself. This is what I love to do: To create wonderful, inspiring and surprising pictures.

Recently I realised that I am further from perfection as a person than I thought. I felt that I made a lot of progress in the last three years, being more independent and on my own more than ever, but still: I’m standing in front of a huge mountain to climb. Sometimes it’s very frustrating and overwhelming. I constantly try to work on myself, but right now, it seems there is so much about myself that I wish I could improve.

As a kid, I thought I’d be supposed to know all the answers at my current age. Now I feel like I know not even the basics for many questions after 30+ years on this earth. Too often, I say the wrong things. I stay quiet because I feel helpless or hide from decisions I should make. I don’t treat people the way they deserve and don’t understand their feelings all the time. I can be too selfish, illogical, not constructive, too needy, and too greedy for attention. Too clingy, too sentimental, too silly, I sometimes lack depth or humour. I feel heavy for myself and others. I’m too much or not enough of so many other things. 

When I think about those things, I sometimes doubt myself to the naked bones and feel like I’m not doing well at being a woman, a lover, a friend, a creative or anything at all. I roll my eyes about myself and wonder how you all manage. If you face an equal amount of doubts and challenges and if you share my exhaustion about improvement and a feeling of getting nowhere.

I really became good at analysing why I act the way I do – mostly because my past is pulling my strings. It’s sometimes challenging not to become the puppet of your past. I often push it away very consciously. I also discover things I consider flaws that have never been an issue before. It’s a neverending process. Maybe this is what life is about, not getting famous, rich or reaching goals, but working on yourself. Dear people out there, please be patient with me, with each other, with your beloved ones, and with everybody around you. I guess we’re all equally lost sometimes.

Dress: Vivetta, Shoes: Dollskill, Bow: Vintage
Male Model: Photörhead

Pictures: Tanja Gschwandl

And finally, I have a girl group! Thank you, Happy Onion, for casting this diverse and extraordinary bunch for some severe colour blocking during a fabulous shoot.

No matter how different we are, we still have a lot in common: We are all girls, we go boldly our way, and our love for fashion unites us. We live colours, play with our looks, and are no wallflowers. We cheer for each other, see beauty in how different we are, learn from each other and hold each other up. This empowering attitude is what it should mean to be a girl.

No bitch fights, jealousy and criticism among women. The world is already complex enough for us girls. Still, we are not always taken seriously or get belittled. In the business world, we must work hard to be heard, often harder than others. If we dress up, we get called vain, or people assume our heads are empty. If we are not married, we are called whores. Why is it like that? Why does it seem more straightforward to applaud men for many people? I can’t say, but I can say that we girls have a lot of power in our hands if we stick together. 

I love you, girl group. I love fashion and last but not least: Can please somebody buy me those blue trousers from Happy Onion?

Clothing: Happy Onion
Models: Nahid, Regina, Anastasia

Pictures: Diego Rizzo from Make Some Noise
Styling: Greta Schoop

Real is real, and fake is fake, you think? I tell you it isn’t: Fake gold is still shining golden and fake nails can also scratch. Fake moans make (if convincing) a similar sound to real ones. Even a fake smile is still a smile that might charm some fools.

But other things are just nothing when they are fake: Love, for example. Because if love is fake, it’s not even love at all. It’s just nothing but a sad, evil show that breaks precious hearts.

So my sisters follow my advice: It’s ok if your gold is everything but a precious metal. If you like, may your lashes be out of the question to be designed by nature. But there is one thing: Keep your feelings real and beware of falling for shiny fake emotions served by people with hearts made out of not even fake gold but ugly stone. Those people behave like bulls in the china shop and destroy all the delicate things by pretending realness where there is only a fake.

We deserve real, pure and honest! We don’t deserve our beautiful hearts to be broken, and we earn a love that is more than emptiness wrapped in shiny paper. Being real might not get you the most in life all the time, but it will grant you that you can always look into the mirror, hold the stare of your own eyes and admire how pretty the golden coat looks on you.

My outfit:
All Clothes by Maya Seyferth, Sunglasses: Craig & Karl x Quay

Pictures: Parinya Wongwannawat / Nick Soland
Location: Wow Museum Zurich

Love can feel like salvation; love can feel like a curse. It all depends on luck, the level of your personal growth and if you’re in love with Dr Jekyll or Mr Hyde.

Everything is here, but nothing is like it was supposed to be. I roll my eyes, frustration and melancholy dripping into my thoughts like a sticky syrup. It’s not the nice sweetness, but the almost unbearable one. Life could be so beautiful. Things could be so easy. Growth is what I aim for, yours, mine, ours.

All I want is love that feels like soft fur and weightless feathers. Love that goes deep beneath my skin and warms my heart. Love that feels light, warm and caring, without claws ripping my flesh apart. I want to feel safe, to show my good and bad sides without the fear of punishment, rejection and shame. In return, I will not judge, observe with love in my eyes and be honest and genuine.

I feel tired. I cried enough tears, healed wound after wound, and built heavy armour when confronted with violence, toxic behaviour, abuse and narcissism. Oh, you countless sleepless nights and tears I cried! You might say a lot of wasted energy. I don’t see it that way.

I believe there is a reason we are where we are, and challenges are chances for personal growth. Sometimes we need to fail several times until we can rise, as frustrating as it is. I discovered some abysses I wish I wouldn’t have seen, but I feel grateful for the impressions, knowing that I can master a lot more than I thought and even far more than people imagine.

If you are from the more aggressive kind, you could see me as weak. I might appear calm, adaptive and resilient, but don’t take it as a fault. It’s a strength to stay loving and peaceful and not give up dreaming. Inner peace is a force that is far more significant than screaming at people and hurting them intentionally. For me, true love excludes the desire to break the beloved one. Love wants to bathe the object of devotion in fluffy plush toys and make that person feel happy and cosy as often as possible. Love here is my door. It’s wide open for you.

Plush Minuki is designed by Taina and can be bought at Unuh,
Coat: Vintage, Swimsuit: Calzedonia, Earrings: Cakes & Troubles

Pictures: Daniela Bologna
Produced with the help of Greta Schoop

Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Sara’s Penny Dreadful. We expect calls from ghosts making eerie sounds, mirrors with reflections that move on their own and darkness creeping in like thick black ink.

Will still work today, what was enormously popular with the Victorian public? I guess yes, since I always dreamed of pirates, adventures and haunted houses. There is an almost magnetic fascination that draws me to dark gothic tales. I love the tension they create and the goosebumps on my skin they sometimes cause.

It’s linked to the curiosity to know what’s behind the curtain or hidden in the dark. What does the neighbour hide and is the barber next door maybe Sweeney Todd himself? While I beware of meat pies and poison I can’t keep my eyes of the pages. Does the good win or will evil prevail?

Did you ever notice that darkness makes colours pop even more? It doesn’t swallow my pinkness, but makes it stand out even more. The high collar of my dress feels like right from a shop in Victorian London’s dusty streets. A look like this needs a certain amount of drama and lavishness. Lips as red as blood, glasses as black as the darkest night and a generous amount of gold. Of course chunky chains too, maybe a ghost will be inspired to rattle.

Dress: Poppy Field via Custommade Modeagentur,
Shoes: Vivienne Westwood x Melissa, Bag: Benedetta Bruzziches Vintage
Belts: Vintage Moschino & No Name, Earrings: Carolina Curado, Sunglasses: Pearls & Swine

Pictures: Tanja Gschwandl