Sometimes I ask myself, why I didn’t see indicators that something needed to be questioned or otherwise validated earlier. Seeing red flags while looking back is usually easy but the damage has been long done. “Where did the butterflies in my stomach go?” I want to ask and demand from whatever took them to bring them back and let me continue the beautiful dream I was dreaming.
I’ve been in this situation now and then, just like most of us. I’ve asked myself again and again how things could have gone so wrong. How could something that started as beautiful and promising end up just leaving a trail of damage and hurt? How could I have been blind for the signs when they suddenly seem to have been oh-so-obvious?
I believe in the good in people, and therefore when I meet somebody new, I assume that every person has good intentions. I’m curious to see how the worlds of others are unlike mine and how they approach and solve things; every person comes with new possibilities. If I don’t understand certain things in their behaviour, it takes a lot until I start to question if there is something wrong.
This makes me very bad in spotting red flags, and it doesn’t make sense: Why do I trust strangers more than my gut feelings? Especially after making several experiences when overlooking and overcompensating caused quite some tears, heartbreak and hurt.
Red flags have a lot of manifestations, and your definition of a red flag might differ from mine. Usually, they are something that indicates a lack of respect, interest or integrity. It often starts with somebody doing something small that seems not ok, but it is easy to be ignored and pass off as a quirk. But when they pile up and become more or even escalate into something worse, you notice it was much more than just that.
So this is a reminder for everybody that could need it, including me: Keep your eyes open wherever you are, even if you’re living in a butterfly house! It’s beautiful to believe in good, but don’t forget to be cautious. Dreams will last longer if you dream with care!
My Outfit
Top: Jaded London, Trousers: Calzedonia, Jacket: Moschino x H&M, Shoes: Bordello,
Sunglasses: Saint Laurent
Pictures: Philipp Mueller
