Once upon a time, there was a pink-haired mermaid who loved her golden Swarovski shells. Her eyes were green, blue and grey, depending on water’s colour reflecting in them.

She played games with the fishes and got tickled by the seaweed, and her laugher was heard like the sound of clear, beautiful bells underwater. The mermaid loved life in the big sea since she could hide in the mysterious dark depths while she was dreaming of songs unsung to attract her true love. She was not afraid of anything in the sea, not even huge fishes, wild sharks, and eager fishermen, but her one and only fear was to never find the place she was meant to be. Never hold the hand she was supposed to hold.

As soon as the sun went out and the water got darker, melancholy was appearing in her big eyes. She longed for swimming in company so very much. At the same time, her head was full of stubbornness to give in for any company, but the one her heart truly desired. Her eyes filled with tears. When mermaids cry, nobody knows, since their tears just become a part of the sea. Sometimes she wondered if the whole sea was actually made of mermaid tears and nothing else.

The mermaid kept on singing, night after night, hoping that one day she might be heard. Her golden shells were the most beautiful ones, and she hoped the right one would see how they reflected in her eyes, and it would fill his heart with delight. But the life of a mermaid was not easy. Where was a mermaid supposed to look for her look in the endless ocean? She turned stones, checked behind huge rocks, inspected sunken ships rotting on the bottom of the sea, but still: He was nowhere to be seen, not even hiding in a shell.

On full moon nights, she always sat on the same rock and told the moon about her wishes while she was humming a song about dancing. And there she might still sit every full moon night and on other lonely nights too, waiting for happiness without an end. Because what is happiness worth if it has an end?

Jewellery
Swarovski

Pictures: Betty Heart
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What makes a girl a harlequin? Is it that glance of sadness mixed with madness and intelligence in her eyes? Or rather that feeling that no matter what she does, she could stand up every moment, walk out of the room and join the circus?

A harlequin is always a colourful thing, it can be funny, yes, but there lies sadness hidden beneath thick layers of make-up and diamond-patterns. It’s a complex figure just like anybody else, far from black and white, good or evil, but a mix of many things. It is fascinating and good at catching attention, but have you ever heard of a harlequin being loved as a girl?

The audience doesn’t want to see behind the mask of the harlequin; they just want to enjoy it as an oddity, keeping up the illusion of neverending fun. This is what brings the sadness into the eyes of the harlequin girl: The knowledge that she is loved for her sparkling behaviour, but at the same time, it’s what keeps her apart from other people. Nobody imagines to wake up next to a harlequin or make pancakes for her. Everybody wants to see her show, watch her being silly and rattle the tiny belly on her hat.

Maybe there is a sweet girl behind the mask, but they don’t even wonder. They are looking for fun, not for something real and the tragedy is therefor they don’t even see the full picture. They might even complain that the show was artificial. But that is the thing: A girl is a harlequin when you want to see a harlequin and becomes a girl when you approach her being real. So make your choice (and please pancakes for me…)!

My Outfit
Clothing & Hat: Jacqueline Loekito, Shoes: Buffalo, Glasses: ISLYNYC, Bag: Gucci,
Earrings: Swarovski, Bangle: Love at the Bus Stop, Socks: Lazy Oaf

Sometimes I ask myself, why I didn’t see indicators that something needed to be questioned or otherwise validated earlier. Seeing red flags while looking back is usually easy but the damage has been long done. “Where did the butterflies in my stomach go?” I want to ask and demand from whatever took them to bring them back and let me continue the beautiful dream I was dreaming.

I’ve been in this situation now and then, just like most of us. I’ve asked myself again and again how things could have gone so wrong. How could something that started as beautiful and promising end up just leaving a trail of damage and hurt? How could I have been blind for the signs when they suddenly seem to have been oh-so-obvious?

I believe in the good in people, and therefore when I meet somebody new, I assume that every person has good intentions. I’m curious to see how the worlds of others are unlike mine and how they approach and solve things; every person comes with new possibilities. If I don’t understand certain things in their behaviour, it takes a lot until I start to question if there is something wrong.

This makes me very bad in spotting red flags, and it doesn’t make sense: Why do I trust strangers more than my gut feelings? Especially after making several experiences when overlooking and overcompensating caused quite some tears, heartbreak and hurt.

Red flags have a lot of manifestations, and your definition of a red flag might differ from mine. Usually, they are something that indicates a lack of respect, interest or integrity. It often starts with somebody doing something small that seems not ok, but it is easy to be ignored and pass off as a quirk. But when they pile up and become more or even escalate into something worse, you notice it was much more than just that.

So this is a reminder for everybody that could need it, including me: Keep your eyes open wherever you are, even if you’re living in a butterfly house! It’s beautiful to believe in good, but don’t forget to be cautious. Dreams will last longer if you dream with care!

My Outfit
Top: Jaded London, Trousers: Calzedonia, Jacket: Moschino x H&M, Shoes: Bordello,
Sunglasses: Saint Laurent

Pictures: Philipp Mueller

Dear bullies from school who stole my stuff, dear teacher who told me I’d never become something, dear lover who left me believing I was not good enough, dear parents who I couldn’t make as proud as I’d wished to: Can you see me now?

Life is about growth. With every step we take, every book we read and especially every lesson we learn, we grow. Growth comes from setting goals, from the determination to make it to a better place, from support and as well from the will to overcome bad experiences.

What made me grow the most was rejection. Oh, I experienced a lot of it over the years: So many times people whose opinion mattered to me didn’t give me the place I wanted to have in their life, not the attention or affection I craved for. I got underestimated a lot too. If I know one thing: There is much more of this to come where I’m heading, and it’s ok, because there are a lot of lessons still to be learned.

Besides the occasional tears, broken wishes and dreams, there is something positive about this too: Whenever somebody – no matter if friends, family or lovers – gives me the feeling that I am not enough or not right, I get into a rebellious mood. The strong will to prove the people who rejected me wrong awakes and drives me like a powerful energy boost. I try to fill the shadows in my world with creativity.

I want the people who rejected me to see me laugh, smile at them from magazines and show them that I am doing fine. They could cast me out of their lives but never replace. Do you see me now? I want to ask, leaving a trail of glitter behind while I ride on my pink swan. I refuse to give up; I refuse to be put down.

Does it ever bring those people back? You might ask now. Honestly? No, it doesn’t, but it might get me to a better place where I discover new fulfilment, and they fade from my mind. Therefore: Let’s smile when we’re hurt, let’s be rebels and grow and sprawl like the most stubborn plant in the universe.

My Outfit
Cardigan & Top: Lazy Oaf, Skirt: Vintage, Boots: Dolls Kill,
Mini Bag: Julian Ziegerli, Sunglasses: Le Specs, Earrings: Swarovski

Pictures: Marco Borromeo

“How are you?” people ask and there is just one answer they expect: “Oh I am fine, thank you.” Long before the invention of scripted-reality shows, this question was never really a question, but always just a script. Often answered with a forced smile to make the lie more believable.

From all the questions out there it’s the one I despise the most, because what is the purpose of a question if the answer is already given? And being an honest person, I really have difficulties saying I am fine when the opposite is the truth. I often wish I could just skip this question because I feel torn between the expectation of telling a lie and the fear of making somebody feel uncomfortable with being real. Please stop asking me if you don’t want to know anyway.

If I ask you about your condition, I really mean it. I don’t step back if you tell me that you are lonely, that somebody close to you is ill or that you feel overwhelmed in your job or by the expectations of others. Not even if we don’t know each other very well. We’re all facing so many challenges and many of us feel overburdened by their family, health and work. Let’s be more honest and tear down the barriers! Doing so is the first step of getting closer and accepting that we are all human beings.

Honesty encourages us to get real answers back and is the ground for more quality talks. It’s ok to leave fake smiles and brainless scrips behind and most important: Let’s start to accept that nobody is ok all the time and there is no reason to hide it at all!

My Outfit
Shirt: Ana Ljubinkobic, Skirt: Vintage, Hat & Fan: Tauta,
Bag: Maison Héritage, Shoes: Mel by Melissa (not recent), Bangle: Love at the Bus Stop,
Sunglasses: Saint Laurent, Belt: Vintage

Pictures: Marco Borromeo
This post contains sponsored products.net

I love you, I whisper. My voice is soft and calm, it’s a beautiful late afternoon, the light is golden and I wear this delicate pink dress by Amorphose. I love you, I say putting the complexity of everything I feel into those few simple syllables.

Little words that mean everything. They say I’m here, I’m yours and I go wherever you go. They say I take you with all your wonders and terrors, I see you and I hear you. My shield is your shield and yours is mine, I’m going to protect you no matter what and you’re not gonna let anything hurt me. I love you I say and mean you have my full loyalty, my honest heart, my body and my loving spirit. You don’t have to fear that you will wake up and I’ll be gone because we made a pact that is not to be broken.

I love you, it’s a precious thing. Many tried to steal it from me, but they didn’t succeed. I kept it for you, pure and beautiful, If I look into your eyes I see my twin flame burning in the depths of your iris. Everything I ever wanted is right here when your hand catches mine. I knew all of this since the first moment I saw your face and felt your presence. I’ll never forget that magical moment.

I love you I say again, then the alarm rings. I wake up alone and ask myself where you are. Did you actually ever exist or was it just a dream and love is nothing that plays a role in the play called “Sara’s Life”?

I take you with all your wonders and terrors, I see you and I hear you.

My Outfit
Dress & Bag: Amorphose, Shoes: Bally bought as Fashion Fish, Belt: Jessica Butrich,
Ring & Earrings: Swarovski

Pictures: Marco Borromeo
This post contains sponsored products.